1st semester Portfolio conference

Dear mom and dad,

This past semester was a very long and sometimes challenging one. At the same time I enjoyed all of our writing assignments. A lot of the assignments were personal based experiences, which I like to do because I don't care for researching. I am proud of myself for improving on my writing skills because the ending of 9th grade and the beginning of sophomore year I would always get C's on my essays, but now I am getting persistent B's. For me this is an improvement, even though to you it may not. But my next goal is to shoot for A's in the next semester coming up. The one assignment that I was proud of was my "Angry Letter" because to me, I know I'm not the greatest when coming to research. The Angry Letter was one of the few assignments/essays that wasn't off personal experiences. One of the major challenges this semester I had was trying to learn broadcast things, when many of us aren't in broadcast. My next goal I have is to try and adapt more faster and help out more. This is a realistic goal because it's not something I cannot do. I just have to put more effort into doing so. 

1. What piece of writing did you like best in my portfolio?
2. What did you like about my porfolio and sharing and what would you like to see me improve on? 
3. Which of the writing traits (ideas, organization, voice, word choice) do you feel was most successful for me? 
4. Which of the traits of writing would you like me to improve on in the coming semester?

Thanks for your time! 

Movie Review- Thin

Polly, Shelly, Brittany, and Alisa are all patients of The Renfrew Center in Coconut Creek, Florida that is a 40- bed residential facility for the treatment of women with eating disorders. Director Lauren Greenfield and Producer R.J Cutler were given the access of going to therapy sessions, mealtimes and daily weight-gains, and their personal relationships with each other and family and staff.

The movie “Thin” was very in depth of what the life of 20-30 year old women with eating disorders are like. I thought this movie was very enjoyable but coming to the end it got more and more dull because it was the same thing happening over and over again. At other times I felt a little disgusted but at the same time a little sad by the way I was seeing some women eating so little and seeing the way they felt about themselves when really they are pretty women that care to much about their appearances. You can buy this 1 hour 42 minute documentary on amazon.com. It played once on HBO for the public to see what some people go through.

If you are starting to have second thoughts about your body, but at the same time still very skinny, I recommend you to watch this because it teaches you how ridiculous of trouble some women go through. So many women go through unnecessary things just to get “their” perfect body image. I learned that you everyone is special in their own way and you shouldn’t change for anyone.

Some improvements I would suggest for this documentary is to not be so long of the same things such as eating, weighing, etc. But overall, I thought this documentary was well put together and very interesting. You learn that many women around the world over react on the way they look and in the end become unhealthy and the opposite of what they should look like. 

Angry Letter Draft

2825 Ala Ilima street

Honolul, HI, 96818

November 13, 2012

Wet’n’Wild Water Park

400 Farrington Highway

Kapolei, Hawaii, 96707

Dear Wet’n’Wild Water Park Administration,

My friends and I have been satisfied customers of Wet’n’Wild for many years now. Your new rides once a year, fun slides, and your very friendly employees keep my friends and I coming back.

However, the day we went we really wanted to ride the Shaka, the Raging River, and the Island Racer all on the same day. But since all of these rides are rotation rides it was hard to ride all of them because there is always a long line from everyone changing lines to ride the ones in progress. The last time I went with my friends to Wet’n’Wild we had to wait in line for around 20 minutes just to ride one ride. With only a limited time at the amazing water park we were disappointed to leave and not being able to ride all the rides wanting to. I understand that sometimes you guys can’t always have all the rides open at the same time, but in that case I would suggest that Wet’n’Wild get more employees so more rides are open the entire time you are open.  

In addition, my friends and I went to your water park 3 times in the same summer and found out some of the rides weren’t open at the time. I get that sometimes we can’t always be pleased with everything, but we had this happened to us multiple times. With that happening I just wanted to bring that to your attention.

Through all of this, your employees at Wet’n’Wild were very polite on the way telling us the rides at the time were unavailable. They all said they were sorry for the inconvenience and that next time they should be ready for us.

I have no objection to your policies of what to offer patron but feel that you should open all of the rides up during the open hours so the people can experience all of the excitement in one day to get their moneys worth.

Sincerely,

Brooke Yoshida

Eating Disorder Draft Essay

Eating disorders are a group of serious conditions in which you're so preoccupied with food and weight that you can often focus on little else. There is no single cause of an eating disorder, but the concern about their weight and body images are factors of why they get this disorder. Another cause from this disorder is having cultural or family pressures that get to them that they are to fat or eating too much. Binging, Anorexia, and Bulimia are all types of eating disorders that are very serious conditions, but also you have a choice of having it or not.

You are given the choice of having an eating disorder. No one forces you to have it, but at the same time its what you want to do with your life. Eating disorders develop over time, meaning that if they have acknowledged them starting to have this disorder, they could have a choice of trying to stop themselves from making it worst. Another reason why you have an eating disorder is from emotional or mental issues. People with eating disorders might have an unreasonable and unreal expectation on how they should look.

Having an eating disorder is very serious, but not everyone thinks it is. People that have this disorder sometimes don’t know how important it is to have this disorder. This disorder has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. People with this disorder need to be more serious if they have it. Only 1 in 10 men and women with eating disorders received treatment. Not many people thing that this disorder is a serious problem, but honestly this disorder is 12 times higher than the death rate associated with all causes of death for females 15-24 years old. 81% of kids are caring about what they look like at a very young age of 10.

Lot’s of people around the world have an eating disorder, but not many people know it. Right here in the United States alone, has up to 24 million Americans are affected this eating disorder. Some of the ways you can tell that you have an eating disorder is by losing your hair, secretive eating, to cold to fast, etc. Over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one- third boys use of unhealthy weight control behaviors. Some of the unhealthy weight control behaviors boys and girls do in order to watch their weights is by skipping meals, so they wouldn’t think they could get fat.

 Having an eating disorder is when you have Binging, Anorexia, and Bulimia, which are all very serious disorders that you choose to have or not to have. Millions of people around the world have this disorder and many of them don’t even know it. Although this disorder is by choice, we should be more careful of on the things we choose to do, such as not eating and making your self-purge. Once you know that you are starting to have different eating habits, you should ask your doctor about it or go online to search about it. Overall, we should all make the right decisions on eating, and not care what other people think about the way you look because everyone is special in their own way. 

Brainy Pics- Coerce

College Essay- Draft 1

            Many people have super heroes, or famous people that they look up to, but not me. The one person I look up to the most in my life is my grandma who I call “Nana”. She is the shining star in my life. One of the most important lessons she taught me was to never take life for granted, and live life to the fullest. I thank her for everything she has done and taught me, because without her life lessons, I would not be the person I am today.      

            She taught me how important it is to be neat and organized all the time. Ever since I was an infant she always taught me how to be clean, neat, and organized. My family would tease me on how I was a little mini- me of nana, because I would clean the house just like her. In the beginning I would despise cleaning up after myself, but after about the hundredth time of hearing her tell me to clean this and that, I found myself doing it on my own. From this habit of being neat and organized since I was a toddler, it has helped me till this day. Being organized has helped me out a lot for school, sports, and everyday life. I know for a fact, that in college you have to always be on the top of things, and keep all your papers in order.

             I look up to my nana because I find her one of the humblest people in the world. For the time I had with her everywhere I went together all she did was take care of the people surrounding her, no matter who they were. I admire her so much for doing so, and I am slowly trying to be just like her. She always told me to help out where it’s needed. I learned that its rude not to help out, either if your at home or at a friends place. So everywhere I go, I ask everyone if they need help doing something when ever or where ever we are. My nana also taught me to never be greedy, and that we should always share. One of the most important things my nana taught me was to do what you love. As soon as I played my first year of club volleyball at the age of 12, I automatically fell in love with the sport. After playing club volleyball for two years, it was time to try out for high school volleyball. When I was trying out for high school volleyball I was very nervous, but the one thing that kept me at a positive attitude was my nana’s words saying “ Never give up, and do what you love.” and that’s exactly what I did. With that positive attitude I made the Moanalua High School JV volleyball team, and now at the time as a sophomore I am on the blue varsity team. From this experience I will never think negative of what I can and cannot do.

            I wish I could’ve thanked her for helping me become the person I am today. She means so much to me that ever since I was a baby, she taught me right from wrong. 

Word Choice Graphic

The two competitive surfers race each other down the massive wave trying to conquer the steep barrel of water. These two professional brave surfers find their balance while riding a 25 foot wave down on the island of O'ahu.

Colleges

University of Oregon

University of San Diego

Sacramento State

University of Oregon essay information:

The UO is interested in learning more about you. Write an essay of 500 words or less that shares information that we cannot find elsewhere on your application. Any topic you choose is welcome. Some ideas you might consider include your future ambitions and goals, a special talents or unusual interest that sets you apart from your peers, or a significant experience that influenced your life.

Coming of Age- 1st Draft

Coming Of Age Essay

            I’m peacefully writing my thank you cards for my birthday presents, while mom is on the side of me watching TV. I hear the TV volume slowly decreasing and she says we are moving houses, and I said “okay” because I knew it was eventually going to happened. Next she told me she was getting married, which made me start to get a little mad, confused, and surprised. I then start asking her questions like “when are you getting married?”, “When did John ask you?”, and “Are you sure you want to get married?”. After hearing about mom going to get married I hear her softly under her breath say she was pregnant. I thought she was joking so I told her to “Shut up” repeatedly when finally she told me she wasn’t joking and I saw her touch her stomach and that was when I freaked out.

            I asked mom “ Are you sure your getting married?” and her response was yes!  I couldn’t get that through my head for the longest time. I was still processing that mom is pregnant. After hearing all the big news that was happening I ran to my room with no further questions and slammed my door behind me. I jumped to lay on my bed and had so many questions running through my head, debating if I wanted to ask them or not. A few minutes later mom came into my room asking me what my problem was and why I stammered off into my room without saying anything. All I could tell to her was that I had nothing to say. And our conversation ended there.

            The following day when she woke me up it wasn’t the same. I could tell she was mad from the tone of her voice. But like a stubborn child I acted like nothing happened until she stopped me while walking out the door to go to school, she said to me “Are you sure you still don’t have anything to talk about?” and as usual my answer was “No”.  I felt like I was in a dream and couldn’t wake up. All I could think about was what my life was going to be like in the future with all these new changes happening.

            Something changed my life even more, which was mom being pregnant. I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach because I knew my life was going to be very different. I knew I wouldn’t be as spoiled as much or have as much attention as I did before. I would also have to help out more around the house such as wash dishes more often and also not leave my school things all over the place. 9 months later mom had her baby. My sister came on August 4, 2012 and my life is already changing but, its not all that bad. Before I felt like everything was going to change and my life was going to be harder, but it isn’t that bad. I love her to death! She is so adorable, petite, and such a cutie pie.

            In a way I grew up, I had to start taking more responsibility, and mature more. I learned I am no longer the baby of the family, and I have to start helping out around the house more now that there’s a baby around. Everyday is a new day that I slowly get more and more independent to help me in the future and grow up to be a smart, independent women.

Blog Revisions

For this sophomore year blog, I wanted to make it more about me and how I am. I made my blog very bright because these are some of my favorite colors. I changed my Blog name to "My World In My Own Words" because this blog will most likely be having personal essays all about me. I put the picture of the world with the hands because the hands represent me and the world represents the variety of the things I write about.

Mini Essay

            The tourists should be taking better precautions on the signs at places where they are unfamiliar with. If they do not take the signs seriously they can end up getting seriously injured or even killed. For example tourist David Potts was visiting Nakalele Point blowhole and didn’t take action of looking at the signs around him. From not looking at the precautions signs it sadly ended his life there. He didn’t read the signs at the Nakalele Point Parking lot that read “Blowhole: Park and walk at your own risk.” Tourists should take the time and read the signs around them because that’s what the signs are there for, and also for their own safety. I am against the tourists and on the parks side of this argument because the sign clearly says to walk at your own risk which in other words means it’s very dangerous and you shouldn’t go near the blowhole.

           

            Tourists should really take better precautions on the things around them. Visitors being seriously injured or killed while in the state’s natural attractions occur quite often enough that they keep the first responders busy. Tourist from all around the world come to the beautiful islands of Hawaii to sight see, swim in gorgeous blue oceans, and many more fun things on the islands. Some tourists take to much advantage of the island and start to break rules, which then leads to death or getting seriously hurt. The tourists that go sight seeing on hikes and on the road should stick to their maps and not go wandering off. If you don’t know where you are going I suggest on staying on the path on the map. If you are for example like Paula Ramirez and Elizabeth Brem they decided to take an unofficial hike, which then led to them walking off a side of a cliff. Tourists should make smart decisions on following the warnings around them and staying on areas told. They shouldn’t wander off and make unreasonable decisions, and getting them selves in bad situations. 

Parent Conference

Parent Conference:
Question: What did you learn about your child's achievements and experiences in MeneMAC this past year?

Literary Analysis: revisions.

Intro/Thesis statement:
This Poem  "Coney Island Life" is by James I. Weil. In the peom I can relate to this poem by, in the poem is says how the roller coaster goes up and down just like life.

Support:

The word helium means to fly up or float up. In the poem " Coney Island Life" says: " and seen my helium hopes break skyward without me." This saying means that the writers hopes are taking off with out him.

Support:

In lines 12 and 13 of the poem "Coney Island Life", it says "to catch that brass-ring-sun before the game is up". This saying means that the author has to catch life before it passes by him, and its to late.